Can You Learn To Be More Positive?
Posted on 30. Apr, 2011 by Guy in Health Psychology/Motivation
The answer, is a resounding yes, here’s how. Being positive has many rebounding effects, not only on you and your health, but on others too.
1) Stop comparing yourself to others
If you always think other people are better off than you
and you’re the one who deserves more, it’s going to hurt:
- There’s ALWAYS going to be someone with a bigger car, house and more
money than you – even Bill Gates [although there aren't many for him] - Stop seeking approval from others – give it to yourself
- We’re all created different for a reason -enjoy what’s unique about you
2) Always look for the good in people
Something. Anything.
Actually rudeness is NEVER personal – it’s not about you,
it is about their own challenges. People are inherently good,
kind, loving and helpful, especially if you are looking for it
3) Detach yourself from “fairness” or “justice”
Having the desire for justice is different from letting it rule your life
**NEWSFLASH**
The world has never been fair and never will be
- What’s fair to you may not feel fair to other people
- Learn to deal with uncertainties and random events [that's life]
- Tolerate and forgive [others will show you the same]
- Do things because you ENJOY doing them, not because you
expect anything in return [that will follow]
4) Stop looking for an excuse or someone to blame
The world is not black and white and sometimes both parties
should take responsibility and MOVE on. What’s more important:
spending time focusing on whose ‘fault’ it is or moving onto
something more positive?
But REMEMBER balance
- If you’re always blaming other people, chances are, you should
start looking internally as well, likewise - If you’re always blaming yourself, chances are, you should
not be taking responsibility for everything [see above points]
5) Focus on what you want instead of the problem
We all experience problems or “challenges” – how you react
to them is what defines you – the good news is you have a CHOICE
Focus on the outcome – each challenge overcome will bring
you ‘one step closer’ to the result you want. You’ll feel emotions
along the way [you're human after all] but build a plan and
REMEMBER what you want – focus long term and you will |
make it through any short term pain
6) Improve your social skills
[Yes, we know you know this 
]
- Make eye contact and smile [don't scare people though]
- Learn to interpret body language and improve your own
- Learn to be an active listener [us men have to work a little harder here]
- Learn to give compliments as well as points to improve on
7) Manage your behaviour
Learn to recognise and manage your behaviour and this
will help you become a more positive person and effective
communicator. In particular:
- Observe the effects your words and actions have on people
[consider the impact of positive, negative and no feedback] - Revisit your values and make sure they are congruent
with your actions [perhaps you are stressing yourself out?] - Get to know yourself under stress
Read Biographies
Read biographies of successful people and see how many
normal, everyday people like us have accomplished the “impossible”
by staying positive during tough times
- They focus on the attitudes that make them successful
- They see their strengths and weaknesses
- They don’t listen to all the doubters
- You get inspired, motivated and
9) Oh and stay away from the news
Sure, stay in touch with ‘what’s important’ but don’t spend
your time reading and listening to news and negative brainwashing
for hours – remember misery and pain sells and news is a business too.
You will also form far more of your ‘own’ opinions which has
unlimited value and will create much more success and
positivity in your life.
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